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Meet Sonam Chhetri, Captain Fantastic’s Better Half

Football has played a unique role in Sonam Chhetri’s life. Not only is she married to Captain Fantastic, Sunil Chhetri, she is also the daughter of former India international and Mohun Bagan legend Subrata Bhattacherjee – and it was football that brought Sonam and Sunil together.

They’ve known each other for well over a decade, ever since they were teenagers, because Sonam’s dad was Sunil’s coach at Mohun Bagan at the start of Sunil’s career. 

Intrigued by the “extremely talented young boy” her father often talked about, she “secretly stole his number” from her father’s phone, in order to orchestrate a meeting. 

“In fact, I still have a paper cutting of his from back then in 2004,” she shared, in a wonderfully candid phone conversation over the weekend. “It’s the photo that made me fall for him.”

The 2004 newspaper photo that made Sonam fall for Sunil

Sonam gladly confessed that it was she who made the first move. “I called him and said I was his coach’s daughter’s friend – because I knew if I told him I was his coach’s daughter he would be very reluctant to meet me,” she laughed.

“But I didn’t want the friendship to be founded on a lie, so when we finally met properly for the first time I immediately told him who I really was – only he then didn’t agree to see me again for three months!”

For years, they kept their relationship under wraps. “Ours became this secret, long-distance relationship because I still lived in Kolkata but he was playing all over the country and the world. Sometimes, I got to see him in Kolkata barely a couple of times a year – so whenever possible we would try to sneak away to beautiful, sunny Goa.” 

In fact, it was in Goa that their friendship first blossomed into romance. “My brother knew Sunil and I were close, but our parents didn’t know – so my brother was my ally in planning our meetings. We would plan trips to Goa, so I could meet Sunil who was playing for Dempo at the time,” she shared.

The little coastal state has a very soft corner in both their hearts: it was in Goa too that Sunil proposed to Sonam many years later.

But being in a relationship that was both long distance and under cover, of course came with its own share of challenges for them. 

“Sunil was clear that he would tell my dad about our relationship himself, when he would ask for my hand in marriage – so for the longest time no one other than our closest friends and siblings knew we were seeing each other,” Sonam explained.

“Because we were almost never in the same city it was actually not too hard to keep it a secret – hardly anyone actually ever saw us together – even though in fact we were always in touch, and always there for one another.”

Sonam and Sunil in 2009

When Sunil returned to Kolkata in 2011 to play for Mohun Bagan again, right when it seemed like they would finally find themselves in the same place at the same time, Sonam got accepted for a Master’s in Finance in Scotland. 

But despite the fact that they were even further from one another than before, love found its way: Sunil came to Glasgow for a trial with Rangers. “He and Jeje both were there in fact,” she recalled. “It was so lovely to be reunited, even if briefly.”

2011 was also the year Sunil received the Arjuna award.

“He surprised me in London and told me that he was getting the Arjuna award and said I have to come with him and be there, and he immediately did my tickets,” Sonam shared. “Even though we were separated by distance for a large chunk of the time, it was with gestures like these that he always made me feel extremely close and an extremely important part of his life.”

Sunil had his own stints abroad, at Kansas City Wizards and Sporting Lisbon – but then too, distance was never a deterrent. 

“Thank God for Skype!” Sonam exclaimed. “When he was with Kansas, because of the time difference, I would keep an alarm to wake up at 4 AM to video call him so I could ask how his day was.” 

Sometimes she even ran him through recipe processes for his favourite dishes since he had to cook for himself while there.

“There were some tough moments during those times for Sunil, and I’m glad I could be there for him just as he’s always been there for me,” she reflected. “When you’re No. 1 in your own country but there you’re sitting on the bench day after day – even for a highly positive person like Sunil, that’s hard, and I’ve seen him go through that, and come out even stronger.” 

And while it had been football that brought them together, it was also football that delayed them from formalising their relationship. 

“Somehow for over a decade of us being together, it seemed like it was never the right time to tell my dad, because we were a little apprehensive of how he would react, and there was always some important tournament or the other coming up, and we didn’t want to create an upheaval of any kind,” she explained.

It was finally in 2016 after Bengaluru FC made it to the AFC Cup finals that Sunil met Sonam’s father to address the future of their relationship. “Till then, they had only ever discussed football. Suddenly they were discussing me,” she recalled, and I could hear her smile at the memory.

“Luckily, Dad was totally happy for us – it was like everything had come full circle – given the role he had played in Sunil’s early years as a player, he had always been extremely fond of him, and we were relieved that he had no problem at all with us being a couple.” 

Sonam and Sunil got married in early December 2017

When Sunil isn’t travelling, they live between Bengaluru and Kolkata, where Sonam has established herself as a successful entrepreneur, having set up Blue Orchid, a growing chain of business hotels. 

“As a young girl, I didn’t think I could become a footballer myself, although I’d have loved to – there didn’t seem to be enough opportunities for women in the sport – so I decided I wanted to do something where I could contribute to my city. I wanted to provide skills training and employment since there are so many people in West Bengal without either. So, at the hotels we hire people who haven’t completed school, people who don’t have jobs; and we train them, so they can have a better life.”

Talk about couple goals! Mr. and Mrs. Chhetri certainly provide some major inspiration on both the personal and the professional fronts. But what is married life like?

“I had already learned a fair bit about what it takes to be a footballer’s wife before I married Sunil,” said Sonam. “After all, I’d grown up observing how my mom handles my dad!”

“Mom always told me that when you’re married to a footballer, you will have to get used to taking the back seat; that football will always be his first love,” she added with a chuckle. 

“After our wedding, the very next day Sunil had to leave for a stint of away matches – before I could even realise I was married, he was gone, doing his duty.”

Sonam’s dad receiving the baarat

“But I’ve always known that’s how it would be, and you know what, it’s so worth it,” she admits. 

“When I walk in to Kanteerava and see hundreds of people of all ages lining up to buy his jersey, when I see him score, when I hear them chanting his name, it’s all more than worth it.”

Sonam taking a mirror-selfie of her Mrs. Chettri jersey 

Sonam has, after all, witnessed Sunil’s remarkable journey as a footballer up close from the very beginning. “I saw him play for his first Super Division team; I saw him get his first senior national team call; I saw him play for the national team; captain the national team; set records for the national team – becoming India’s most capped player and all time highest goal scorer; I saw him winning the Hero I-League with Bengaluru FC, and I really hope I can see them win the Hero ISL this season,” she shared. I could hear the love and pride in her voice.

“I’ll always be grateful to football – it’s how we met. It’s such an honour that both my dad and my husband have won Arjuna Awards for their contribution to Indian football.” 

“When I have children, whether a boy or a girl, I would be absolutely delighted if they play football for the country too.”